I wouldn't be on "Hoarders," but if they ever come out with "Canners," I'm screwed.

Maybe I'm the only one, but no one ever seem to talk about what happens to your house when you spend all your time doing things like canning. Mine ends up looking rather like a tornado has passed through a farmer's market and a thrift store and deposited everything it sucked up on the way in my living room. You know you've been canning too much when:

- You start sterilizing a couple of extra pint jars with each batch just so you have a clean dish to drink wine out of while the jars are processing
- Your chickens have a look of terror in their beady little eyes every time you come out with another bowl of food scraps
- The fruit flies now outnumber the human residents to such an extent that the bills start arriving addressed to them instead of you
- That strange thumping in the hall is all three cats batting around tomatoes they've found god-knows-where, and your first reaction is a flash of icy-cold terror that you still have tomatoes somewhere in the house, and you don't know where!
- You're working in the kitchen all the time, but you haven't eaten anything other than sandwiches, instant mashed potatoes, or toast for the past six weeks because there's never a free burner to cook anything else.
- You start constructing molecular diagrams out of the hundreds of canning rings lying around just so their presence looks intentional
- Your efforts to disassemble the Jam Tower and actually put things away are thwarted by the city informing you that a project of this scope requires permits and a public input period.
- The cats are no longer afraid of the vacuum because they can't remember what it does.

One of these years I'll get the hang of all this juggling, I'm sure. Or at least I hope so, because my other option is to simply move to a new house every November. xD

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